Absolute Surrender

miscellany monday

2011-11-28T10:34:00.000-06:00

1. Ben and Jerry's ice cream parties are the best way to be reunited with Whitney and her roommate. I missed her so much when she was gone...

2. I will be taking the GRE three weeks from today....AHHHHHH!!!!! Let the studying commence.

3. Thanksgiving break was fun. Look at my "Your Story" post for more details.

4. Even though the Lions lost to the Packers, the Wolverines were able to defeat Ohio State and the Steelers managed to come out on top over the Chiefs

5. A few countdowns I have going...

16 days until my birthday

18 days until the semester is over

21 days until the GRE

6 months and 2 weeks until graduation!!!!!!!

Have a very happy Monday :)

Your Story

2011-11-26T20:36:00.000-06:00

I'm linking up with Hannah for this post

My Thanksgiving weekend was quite full. It included...

Silly boys at the dinner table

Trips to the library and the realization that standardized testing is not over yet

Movie nights with Annie

A renewed addition to Words with Friends

And lots of babysitting :)

Favorite quote: "I was napping, why did you awake me?" -JR

Favorite story: My mom told me about a trick or treater dressed as Flo (the progressive lady)

Favorite food: Mom's homemade stuffing

Favorite memory made: Movie night with Mom and Annie...full of amazing tweetable quotes

Favorite new app: Pinterest (thanks Whit)

My thankful list:

-Family

-Friends

-Babysitting opportunities

-Smart phones

-Blockbuster movie nights

-Public libraries

-God's new mercies every morning

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful

2011-11-22T14:29:00.001-06:00

Today I woke up incredibly happy, happier than I've been in a long time. I just finished some massive papers, exams and projects and I'm getting a little reprieve for Thanksgiving. Therefore, I'm going to share a few people I'm so thankful for...

My amazing roommate...not sure I would be surviving senior without her :)

The wonderful Whitney Cornett (soon to be DeMent). I'm going to miss her so much next semester

The hilarious Dawn Reigel (previously Scheler). Her friendship is so precious to me.

Of course the adorable Annie (with her baby face). I'm loving all the blogging/twitter friends she's introduced me to...so fun!

These precious little boys, my twin brothers. I can't wait to see them!

Last but certainly not least my fantastic mother, who called me on Sunday to ask what I wanted her to make for me for Thanksgiving.

God has abundantly blessed me...I'm so thankful :)

miscellany monday

2011-11-21T14:02:00.000-06:00

1. I haven't blogged in awhile. This is a sign that school is taking over my life. It's crunch time with only 3 weeks and finals week left in the semester...AHHHH!!!!!!! So I'm going to try and blog some more but school and sleep are top priority.

2. T minus 2 days until I leave for Thanksgiving. I get to be home for 4 and half days and I'm so excited! I get to eat real food and spend time with my adorable little brothers :)

3. Steelers had a bye week this week which was great because I got to spend the afternoon celebrating Thanksgiving with my church family. I have high hopes for next week against Kansas City.

4. I saw Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 at midnight on Friday (don't judge) with some friends. I had a lot of fun. No I'm not a crazy Twihard, I just enjoy the entertainment value.

5. 3 weeks and 2 days until my birthday...I'm gonna be 21!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Presence

2011-11-16T08:00:00.003-06:00

Standing in Your presence,

Complete and whole

Experiencing Your glory

Let Your name be known

All the suffering does not compare

To the joy I feel here

I cannot describe

The fullness that I feel

My soul cries out in worship,

my lips your praises sing,

my heart is overflowing,

With the blessings You bring.

Your goodness is indescribable

Your faithfulness unwavering

Your grace is sufficient

Your love never changing

Every desire I had

No longer compares

My heart cries

For my portion, my share

I give everything to You

For it was always Yours

You are worthy,

My Savior and Lord.

Now I find myself

In a place of total peace,

Secure

Complete

Absolute Surrender

Absolute Surrender Reflections: People Pleasing 2

2011-11-15T19:30:00.000-06:00

When people talk about wanting to make a change I am always skeptical. In my experience people are quite powerless to change themselves. I believe that change must come from the heart and thus must be a work of the Holy Spirit. Personal struggle with this very issue is reinforcing this belief. I posted last week about people pleasing and my conviction about it…here’s a follow up:

“Would you be broken if some didn’t like you?” A friend of mine asked me this in a recent conversation about first impressions. To me first impressions are everything. Unfortunately, this is just more evidence of my people pleasing tendencies. Less than a week has gone by since I came to the realization that pleasing people wasn’t worth the effort and I’m already back to where I started. When my friend as that question I immediately got defensive and replied with “That is a loaded and unfair question.” In reality, all my friend was doing was pointing out my sinful desire to manage other people’s perceptions of me. I’m pretty sure this friend is the wisest, kindest and most genuine person I’ve ever met. Not afraid to call me out but is incredibly encouraging at the same time. I wish I had more friendships like that.

So since I am incapable of changing myself, I once again am surrendering my desire to be liked, noticed, appreciated and approved. Once again I choose to find my identity in my Savior, Jesus Christ, who sacrificed His life so I may have an eternal one. I am holding my relationships in an open palm and praying they would be God-honoring and God-glorifying.

miscellany monday

2011-11-14T14:46:00.000-06:00

1. "Monday Monday" by the Mamas and Papas has been stuck in my head. Specifically when it is sung by Josh Lyman and Donna Moss in The West Wing episode "Impact Winter". If you don't understand any of these cultural references I'm sorry. Gilmore Girls had quite an impact on my formative years and thus pop culture references are a vice of mine.

Courtesy of Bing Images

2. David, a fellow Moody Student, writes an amazing blog, Sackcloth & Tea, to tell stories of people's suffering. Today he posted the first part in a collaboration project he's doing with two other writers. The project is called "In Media Res". I was profoundly affected after I read the first part and I think you will be too.

3. I found out yesterday the GRE (Graduate Record Examination) costs $160. That's $160 that I don't have but I'm trusting that God will provide. As my friend pointed out, all I have to do is answer 1,600 Cha Cha questions :)

4. NaNoWriMo is severly suffering under the pressure of school work. I hoping to devote some serious time later tonight. I not behind as far as the plot line, that's all in my head, but just don't have enough time to get it down on paper.

5. Once Upon A Time is my new TV show. I. LOVE. FAIRY TALES.

Courtesy of Bing Images

6. I had a magical packet of crackers at lunch today...there were 3 in one packet and when I got so excited my friend told me I should take a picture. So I did...

Choose Respect Illinois: Event #1

2011-11-11T16:56:00.000-06:00

So today I started a new job with my church...

Those are three of the junior highers I got to work with and the girl in the green is another Moody student is volunteering with me. Here's a better picture...

We got paid to...

And...

The program is in conjunction with the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and Illinois Violence Prevention Authority (IVPA).

Here's the blurb from the CDC website.

"Choose Respect is an initiative that helps teens form healthy relationships to prevent dating violence before it starts. This national effort helps parents, caregivers, older teens, educators, and other caring adults motivate teens to challenge harmful beliefs about dating violence and take steps to form healthy and respectful relationships. The following webpages offer information and resources for use at home, at school, and in the community to help teens learn about healthy relationships and making the right choices." (http://www.cdc.gov/chooserespect/)

Today was more of a test run with kids from the church I go to and in January we'll be in a public school with more kids and more volunteers. I praise God that he has provided this opportunity for me and I can't wait to see how He uses this for His Glory.

CHOOSE RESPECT. Give It. Get It. Choose It. Do It.

Absolute Surrender Reflections: People Pleasing

2011-11-09T13:08:00.000-06:00

“I really need to kno-o-o-ow or else you gotta let me go-o-o-o-o,” I sing as I dance across the plaza. I am having a good morning. Despite the fact that it is my longest day of class and work, I am excited for my day. People who know me smile and shake their heads but many students who don’t know me shoot me confused looks or avert their eyes. I am walking with my friend Madie who is laughing throughout this whole experience. As I enter the classroom building the looks continue which causes Madie to laugh harder. Finally, I take one of my headphones out and I turn to Madie and state, “Honestly, this is my fourth year at this school. I couldn’t care less about what people think about me anymore.”

That was this morning. It amazes me the whole experience ties in exactly with what I am going to blog about today. I’m learning to surrender my desire to please people. I’ve realized in this first semester that I’m still harboring a desire to be friends with everyone and impress them. I still have a habit of trying to manage everyone’s’ perceptions of me. As I am learning more and more about surrendering everything to God, surrendering my relationships is a piece of the puzzle. Recently, I posted about living in Christian community and I spoke about my false pride when it comes to having a servant’s heart. I think a lot of this is rooted in my people pleasing attitude in life. I’ve heard the trite phrase “You should be worried about pleasing God, not man.” However, the application of this statement is quite rare in my Western consumerism version of Christianity.

I’m not saying that I shouldn’t try to create relationships with people but the idea that I need everyone to like me is a lack of faith in my identity in Christ. Not everyone is going to like me. In all honesty there are many people who don’t like me when they first meet me because I have quite a strong personality. I must come to a point where I surrender my desire to be liked and become completely rooted in my unity with Christ. My identity is in him and should be sufficient for me. My daily actions should become concerned with being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. In Him I am beloved, accepted, chosen, forgiven and redeemed.

So, when someone expresses their discontent with me I must surrender my desire to be liked and claim the promises of God’s Word.

NaNoWriMo Thoughts: Christians and Media

2011-11-08T11:12:00.000-06:00

So I'm taking a little break from the absolute surrender theme (although I have some thoughts I'll probably share tomorrow) and wrestle with an issue that has been brought to the surface by NaNoWriMo.

As I am writing my novel there are some ethical dilemmas that I've come across when it comes to portraying sin in the novel. As Christians we have been called to be in the world but not of the world (John 17:14). This is a tension many Christians, this one included, struggle with. We are told not to be conformed to this world (Romans 12:2) but isn't there a difference between conforming to the world and understanding the world?

My cop out answer is that it comes down to a matter of personal convictions. Each Christian as a personal walk with the Lord in which they are growing, struggling, learning and wrestling. God is teaching everyone something different and while there are absolute truths in the Bible there is no commandment that says, "Thou shall not watch R rated movies." You can make arguments from verses like Psalm 101:3 about not putting worthless things before our eyes but who decides what is worthless? If we were to choose not to put sin before our eyes we could not live in the world. Sin is everywhere. At the same time willfully exposing ourselves that do not edify us is not building up the body of Christ. Where do we draw that line? Again, I'm going to cop out and leave it up to personal discretion. My convictions are not going to be the same as everyone else's convictions. I think mutual respect is what is required unless it is clearly becoming a sin issue in someone's life.

Just to share here are my convictions/guidelines when it comes to media/culture:
1. Is the objectionable material gratuitous? If the sin being portrayed is of no use to the furthering of the plot line then I don't see a point in watching it. This is why I am more likely to watch an R rated movie that is rated R for violence or thematic elements than anything else. Usually when a movie is rated R for sexuality the sex scenes serve no purpose in the movie. The same goes for language. In music I try to only listen to clean music, yes I believe there is clean secular music, because music sticks with me. When it comes to books I try to read reviews and get friends opinions. I'm in the midst of reading the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson and there have been some sections I've had to skip over but because of the writing I have chosen to continue reading it.

2. Do I recognize the objectionable material as sin? This is why people hate watching movies with me because I'm the person who will make the comment "That's a poor theological statement," in the middle of a movie (one of my favorites to utter during A Walk To Remember). This attitude led to a discussion with the girl that I babysit about the proper view of marriage after I made a comment about Bruno Mars song "Marry You". I feel that it is important to be able to recognize sin in music, movies and books because it will sharpen our skills to recognize sin in our own lives.

3. Do I react to the sin? Saturday was the fifth of November and I watched V for Vendetta with some friends. I've watched that movie multiple times and it is probably one of my favorite movies. Even so, as I watched it on Saturday night I still got jittery when Evey was being harassed or assaulted, I grimaced and winced when V went on a vigilante rampage and I had to turn away when dead bodies were being thrown into a mass grave. I believe it is when I stop reacting to those sins that I am in trouble. To me an absence of reaction is a sign of desensitization.

As I have had this discussion with friends there have been a number of great thoughts and some disagreements. Some questions like "Can we adequately make people aware of sin by describing it's effects?" "Does describing sin glamorize it?" "How must responsibility relies on the individual watching/reading/listening to the media in question?" I don't have answers. But I would love to hear your thoughts, if you care to share.

miscellany monday

2011-11-07T14:06:00.000-06:00

1. My NaNoWriMo is suffering. School is making me busy but the bigger problem is my inability to navigate some plot holes that I'm encountering. Ethical dilemmas are popping up left and right. It's forcing me to create a universe and create rules for it. It's a lot harder than I expected. I'm hoping to catch up during this week.

2. My friend Whitney opened up her home for a V for Vendetta movie party on Friday night. I had so much fun (I've watched V for Vendetta every 5th of November since it came out). She's leaving me on Thursday for a little over two weeks and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I guess it'll be practice for next semester.

3. Grad school is quickly approaching and I'm nervous for my GRE. Applications are crazy and I'm not sure what's going to happen come May. However, I've been getting a lot of encouragement from people from my church and family. Praying for God's guidance...

Absolute Surrender: Get to Know the Author

2011-11-04T16:29:00.002-05:00

I saw this on a friend of a friend's blog and thought I would try it out. I would love to hear your answers as well. Leave a comment with a link to your blog/website so I can read them, please.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. My mommy...I was the best birthday present she ever got!

2. What has been your favorite year so far? No idea...although the friend I'm Skyping with right now (Annie) told me to say the year that I met her.

3. Where did you meet your husband? Single and lovin' it... solidarity sisters!

4. How many children do you have? No husband=no children

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes, I've done choir, musicals, praise band and karaoke. Singing is so much fun for me, especially when it's Christian praise music.

6. What’s the first thing you look for in a friend? Authenticity...I can tell when someone is being fake and it's no fun to be around them.

7. What really turns you off? Passive Aggressiveness...say what you mean to say please and don't beat around the bush.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Quad Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte or Grande Hazelnut Misto

9. What is your biggest mistake? The inability to shut up...I like to talk :)

10. As a child, what did you want to grow up to be? A teacher, always a teacher

11. Say something totally random about yourself. When I eat candy I always have to eat an even number. I start by chewing the first piece on the left side and the second piece on the right side and continue until I finish. I always start on the left and end on the right. If somebody asks me for a piece I always have to give away an even number. Unless, the candy comes with an odd number in the package, i.e. mambas or rolos, then I must give away an odd number.

12. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? I have twin 5 (and a half) year old brothers, of course!

13. Did you have braces? No way...my teeth are naturally these beautiful.

14. Favorite Social Network? Twitter because it's a replacement for texting sometimes.

15. What is your favorite memory of you and your best friend? I don't really have a best friend but I have some really close friends. A recent memory that I know I'll remember forever is hanging out in my friend Whitney's apartment watching her roommates trying on old dance costumes. It was hilarious!

16. When do you know when it’s love? I don't like this question

17. Do you speak any other languages? Fluently: Spanish Conversationally: French, German, Italian, Japanese, Arabic

18. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? No way...I have no desire to get skin cancer

19. What magazines do you read? No time to read magazines

20. What is playing on your iPod right now? Sara Barielles...love her!

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Some family members but nobody incredibly close

23. Do you watch MTV? Don't have cable at school

24. What’s something that really annoys you? Chicago pedestrians...learn how to walk people!

25. Which television show you were sad to say goodbye to? Gilmore Girls :(

26. Can you dance? Sorta...

27. What’s your favorite place in the world? Anywhere with a good book

28. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes

29. If you could meet anyone (dead or alive) who would it be? John Calvin so I could understand what it really means to be a Calvinist.

30. If you could change one thing in the world for your child, what would it be? I'm going to agree with Katie on this one. I wish that stereotypes didn't exist and people would feel free to be who they are without the fear to being put into a box.

If you have any other random questions you want to know feel free to ask!

Absolute Surrender Reflections: Lone Ranger Christianity

2011-11-02T21:34:00.001-05:00

Tonight in my Systematic Theology II class we were defining the church which is fascinating to me. My professor laid out numerous categories of defining the church, popular categories, biblical data, metaphors, the church militant/triumphant, the universal/local church, the visible/invisible church, parachurch organizations, the church and Israel etc.

One of the most interesting categories for me was the visible/invisible church. The visible church being the church as the Christians on earth see it and the invisible church being the church as God sees it. Emphasizing the visible church is the position among Roman Catholic believers. The church is the institution and if you are part of the church then you are a Christian. Emphasizing the invisible church creates a lack of fellowship and “body life” among Christians. My professor asked the question “Why go to church?” Not in the sense of “Why go to a church building instead of having house church?” but in the sense of “Why be involved in any type of church at all?” As I contemplated I questioned my own motives. My answer came out, “Whenever I go to church it reminds me that Christianity isn’t about me. I remember that I’m part of the body of Christ and it is my privilege to serve in it.” The other answers were “It’s the sense of iron sharpening iron” and “You can’t disciple without being involved in the larger body of Christ”. These answers convicted and challenged me as I further reflected on the question.

The most convicting sentence of the night was from my professor who said, “There’s no Biblical category for lone ranger Christianity.” This statement spoke directly to my core because my personality is the epitome of the lone ranger. After recently being intensely convicted to completely surrender I’m realizing that it’s going to require me to develop a true servant’s heart as well as allowing others to serve me. I’ve always thought I’d had a servant’s heart but I’ve been realizing lately my motivations have been so warped that I was allowing pride to reign in my heart. This pride manifested itself in my stubbornness and not letting people help me. I wanted to be a strong, independent woman who needed nothing from anyone. But in reality I need everything from God. I have no ability to change my heart and it is only by God’s grace that I make it through the day. The more this becomes a reality in my life, the less everything is about me and the more it is about glorifying God.

“Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21

NaNoWriMo and other stories

2011-11-01T23:47:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling incredibly accomplished today because I have officially completed 1,700 words (an excess of 33 words) for the first day of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). While I'm excited beyond words about finishing I'm beginning to get nervous that I'm not going to be able to do this everyday this month. However, I've become so emotionally attached to the project I can't imagine not finishing it.

This project is forcing me to reflect on crazy existential questions and become incredibly philosophical. I'm thinking just to think and not being forced to by the constraints of a classroom. I'm asking questions of myself that I've never asked before about life, death and evolution.I wish I could reflect on it more here. However, I haven't really sorted it out in my own head and I doubt I would be able to form a coherent sentence about it.

In other news, I had an amazing conversation with a guy on my brother floor who I've had a bit of an awkward relationship with this semester. I saw a side of him I had never seen before and the advice he shared with me was convicting and comforting. I'm finally learning what healthy male/female relationships look like and becoming comfortable in interacting with them on a friendship level.

In even more news, the first Choose Respect Illinois event at Los Parques is on November 11th. I'm really excited to meet the kids and start working with them. The plans are coming together and I'll keep everyone up to date.

Good night!

Letting Go

2011-10-31T13:53:00.001-05:00

My heart is burdened

My flesh weak

My soul is tired

I cannot sleep

All of this pressure

Is building up

I can’t understand

Why is seems like far too much

“My grace is sufficient for you”

Is the promise He made

I’m learning to surrender

Day by day

“My power is made perfect in weakness”

Now the burden is lifted from me

The goal is God’s glory

And I am set free

No longer my own

Giving up control

His plan is perfect

I’m letting go…

miscellany monday

2011-10-31T12:16:00.000-05:00

1. I'm back to blogging. My blog's been up and running for about 3 days and I'm loving it. I love being able to write and process my thoughts again. Getting Annie to help me with blog design has also been super fun :)

2. My family was in town yesterday. My mom, step-dad and twin brothers came and experienced a Latino service and meet my church family. I was so happy that they could come and meet the people I've been talking about for 1 year and a half

3.6 and 1/2 months until graduation!!!!!! I can't believe I'm going to have a college degree in May. This is crazy. I have so much stuff I have to do between now and then. My list keeps getting longer and longer. I know God has a plan for the next few months and I'm holding "my plans" in an open palm.

Super excited for this next week...that is if I can find my school ID.

Unspoken

2011-10-29T10:42:00.002-05:00

In the church circles that I grew up in there was a concept of the unspoken prayer request. It was a way to ask for prayer without giving people the ammunition for gossip. When it was time for prayer requests in small group, Sunday school or Wednesday night prayer meetings you always had the option to just mention unspoken and then someone would pray a prayer along the lines of “God, I don’t know what’s going on in Sally’s life but you do. Please bring her peace, wisdom and comfort in this time of need. Help her to face this trial knowing you have a perfect plan.” There’s nothing wrong with that prayer. But as my Global Theology professor, Dr. Zuber, would ask, “Is there anything right with that prayer?” The church is the body of believers representative of the body of Christ put on this earth to know God and make Him known. Unfortunately, this concept becomes trite and cliché as cynicism and apathy sneaks their way into the church.

My question is, is the unspoken prayer request really a desire to keep people from gossiping or is it just another way to fuel it? We are fallen human beings and bound to succumb to temptation either way. However, how are we helping the body of believers by choosing to ask for prayer for an unspoken prayer request? Are we not only drawing more attention to ourselves? Are we not depriving our brothers and sisters in Christ an opportunity to serve us? My hope is one day the global body of believers will emulate the early church and bear one another’s burdens. We will pursue holiness by caring for another in a way unlike the rest of the world. We will seek to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ in our desire to love one another. We will reflect an unconditional love, our Almighty God.

Identity

2011-10-28T17:05:00.001-05:00

I am unloved
Unwanted
Broken
Depraved

I know these are lies
Lies fed to me
At my most vulnerable times
When I choose disbelief

I know that I am loved
Chosen
Whole
Redeemed

I am united with Christ
And He is all I need
He has cleansed me with His blood
And His grace is sufficient for me

But I find myself doubting
My worth and identity
Forgetting what God my Father
Did for me

Choosing to set my mind
On the things of this world
Instead of things
Of the Word

So God I pray
Guide me
So that I cannot lose my way
As I seek Your face

Absolute Surrender: Origins

2011-10-28T13:24:00.002-05:00

I was so upset I thought steam was literally coming out of my ears. I was once again getting so caught up in what others think about me that I wasn’t able to see my own faults. My own self-involvement was blinding me to the reality that the issue was trivial and inconsequential. Luckily, I am surrounded by some of the most patient, kindhearted and wise young Christian women. It was one of these young women that lent me a book that inspired me to start blogging again.

I deleted my old blog in May due to the requirements of my internship (long story, if you want to hear it email me). However, after reading the passage on “Absolute Surrender” in The Seeking Heart by the church father Fenelon I felt God convicting me about my lack of surrendering in my life. I was inspired to start a blog with the theme of surrendering as it is the theme of my current spiritual journey.

I have control issues, I’m sure that’s the technical term, and I am deathly afraid of not knowing. The security blanket that control and knowledge provide me gives me comfort. I’ve stopped giving up, letting go and trusting God. I’ve replaced them with taking up and holding on in order live comfortably. It breaks my heart to think about all of the lessons I’ve missed out on from God because of the blinders I’ve put on. I struggle to live in community because of my independence. I struggle to serve because of my desire to be served. I struggle to love like Christ because of my longing for acceptance.

So from this point on I desire to let go.

Let go of myself.

Let go of my past.

Let go of control.

Through this my desire is to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ and be holy because He is holy.

“ Inward peace comes with absolute surrender to the will of God. You need to come to a simple calmness of spirit which comes from giving up everything to God and having patience with your neighbor. Learn to accept counsel with humility and straightforwardness. This will help you grow closer to God.

The reason you feel so agitated is that you do not accept everything that happens to you with complete trust in God. Put everything in His hand, and offer yourself to Him as a sacrifice. The moment you stop wanting things to be your way, you will be free from so much worry and concern. You won’t have to hide anything or make up excuses for anything.

Until you reach this point of surrender, your life will be full of trouble and aggravation. Your talents will torment you. Your religious ideals will condemn you. So give your heart wholly to God and you will find peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (“Absolute Surrender” The Seeking Heart, Fenelon)